what I needed.

A couple of days ago I asked my older brother, "Do you think dad is disappointed in me?"
He replied, "Not at all, if anything, you're the least person he'd be upset with."
I thought about that for a day or two-in my mind I'm still thinking about it. My dad always told me I was the only one who "came out good". I never left his side.
I finally went to bed at 6am on Sunday and fell into this deep sleep. I don't remember how it started but I know I saw my daddy. He looked happy to see me and I went to him and hugged him... I told him with tears in my eyes "I've wanted to hug you for a long time daddy. I've needed this for too long." and he said something-but i don't remember what it was. He smiled and laughed and it was as though he was back to life-back where I wish he'd be. I left and a few seconds later I woke up for some reason.
I've been feeling super down lately, for many reasons. I have all these bills to pay. My car is breaking down on me. I have problems left and right, and I prayed for this. I asked if he can just give me a hug and let me know everything was going to be okay-and he did. He gave me the hug I needed.
I'm his baby girl and every time something was wrong he'd hug me and tell me it'd be okay...
This is a hard week for me and my family. It's going to be 5 years that I held my daddy's right hand and watched him die...
I sit here remembering him and I cry-knowing that the only way to feel his hugs is in my dreams...